Crew Chronicles: 50 Shades of Brown
Let me start by saying that I know this is a controversial topic that riles up allot of emotion. My intent is not to write a dissertation or thesis on the subject, but to give you my perspective in plan English. I won't be quoting great works of literature or citing extensive research. Just giving my thoughts.
My friends give me grief because they feel I only like light skinned women. Many times they say it as a joke, but the truth is, years ago I did tend to be more attracted to and gravitate towards the fairer skin. Thankfully, that pathetic way of thinking is far behind me, but i want to dig into why I ever had that mindset to begin with.
I love beautiful women of all races, but in my opinion, there is no woman on this earth like a beautiful black woman. Of course some might take that statement the wrong way, but I promise you I mean no ill intent. I am a black man, thus my preference is a black woman. I'm in no way racist and I wouldn't feel upset if a white man said he loved white women. That's his prerogative.
Nothing like the thick natural booty on a black woman. But i digress.
Growing up, for some reason or another I always gravitated towards lighter skinned black females. Sure I thought the darker skin girls were sexy and good looking too, but for some reason I always envisioned my wife as a lighter skinned female. And no, I didn't feel bad about it. That's what I liked.
As I got older, I started to really analyze why my preference was light skin women. Was it because most of the women in my family are light skinned? Was it because the images I of what I saw as good looking black females on TV were light skinned? Could it be that I was not happy with my own complexion?
One time I even said that I wanted to have children with a light skin female so my children wouldn't come out really dark. Man, I was all messed up in the head.
Transforming my mindset was not something that happened over night. I really am ashamed of how stupid I was back then. Sure I would have fun with a dark skin girl, but I wanted to marry a light skin girl, like she was some type of trophy. It was pathetic.
A shade of color means nothing. Beautiful women come in all shades, shapes, and sizes and it is mind boggling how I could ever think so close minded.
I make no excuse for my stupidity, but I do realize it began back during early school days. Kids always are the toughest critics, and light skin/dark skin jokes were a everyday thing. You have heard all the jokes, they are not worthy of repeating.
Though my skin was a darker shade as well, I remember how easy it was for darker skinned people to get cracked on. It was easy to pop out a dark skin joke for laughs. So maybe subconsciously I didn't want my children to be subject to such ridicule and embarrassment. Just a thought.
My mother, grandmother, and the majority of the women in my family are lighter skin. Maybe I was looking for beauty to look like them. I don't know. Seems so stupid now.
Most the women presented as beautiful on TV and in the movies were either white or light skin black women, so maybe I attributed their image as a symbol of what to consider beautiful.
I would like to see inside my 11 year old mind and examine what shaped my thought process. If I could go back, I would smack the hell out of myself. Pathetic.
I own my misguided mindset and am happy that I have grown to love all black women for their own merits and individual beauty, not a shade of brown.
Again, I could get deeper and explain all I have learned on the subject over the years, but I'm over it. I am thankful that God opened my eyes.